This is a selfish blog because it’s about me this time.
I can categorize the people who know me in three different zones:
- My clients and my professional associates
- My family
- My friends
The first category of people know my deliverables and will weigh me through my integrity and professional performance. There is always scope for improvement as I believe human interaction requires deeper understanding of psychology and empathy.
The second category has practically no choice but to accept me as I am. For them I am indispensable part of their life, as I am a forced entity into their lives. There is scope for improvement here as well, as I need to live upto their expectations, which are sometimes unfair as well, but then like them, I too don’t have any other family.
The third set of people I used to feel are the ones where I could have been a child again, live my youth again and live part of my 20’s and 30’s which I couldn’t live like many. It’s not about struggles, as everybody has theirs. It’s about the friendless times I have had. Over the last couple of years I got a chance to live like that. Had a great time and became a child again. Somehow the journey got interrupted & now it’s time for VERSION 2.0 here too.
It seems I have work to do every department. Well that goes for everyone I guess, but my battles with myself are mine alone and I do not need to beat myself , but still I need to be a winner.
How do I do this?
There is a plan I have……..change myself. Easier said than done but I will have to try that definitely.
Points to consider:
- Expectations – It’s an irony that I have to live up to the expectations of so many but it is fatal to have them for others. That’s what people tell me, “don’t have expectations and life will be easy”
- With my clients I expect little appreciation, trust & sometimes more than client like behavior. Why I do this ?….well because I always consider my clients as my FIRST FAMILY. I devote majority of my day thinking about them and working for them, so I definitely thought expecting little back is not bad. To be frank none of my clients have ever disappointed me on the “trust” part and I enjoy their full trust all the times. Had it not been there, I wouldn’t have reached so far and even a 1 centimeter progression from here won’t be possible without it. Some clients have even gone beyond the client-advisor definition and become family/friends. Frankly appreciation is reflected in their continuity with me and also the fact they give references to me. My job is to be a student of the subject so that I can learn more through information and experiences and implement knowledge to action
- With family I have to now change and start taking an authoritative role, as my son will soon be 5 and then his future has to be set right ( at least I will try to do so) On the other hand their expectations on my perpetual growth has to be tamed, as we live in ever-changing times and one stroke of action by the establishment
- Friends were I thought blessings by God, well that may still be true but I know for sure I am not a blessing. I always used to find company of friends a place to unwind, to be mad, to be real and to be open. I never had to find an excuse for not having time, because I made time. In fact that is what has to be corrected. My over possessiveness and my larger than life expectations have lead to frictions many a time and people took my passion to do things in circle of friends to be attention gaining mechanism. Well there is a lot of work to be done here. I have to stop being so expectation oriented and learn to be smart enough to understand limits and also the fact that everyone is unique and too much space occupied by me and suffocate people to boredom and monotonous ideas
The below points are specifically for group 3 only
- Ignorance: I definitely need to stop taking friendships so seriously and ignore a lot of things I may not like by others. It’s a fact that there could be larger number of things from me, which may also not be liked by them. It is strange that we ignore our faults while it is so much fund to identify faults in others. In that sense I am guilty of just being partial. I think it has been my greatest fault to think about ideas, about ways to think larger than life retirement schemes where friends could live together and to be a little emotional about things. Time to apologise and to correct myself for good
- Taking the centre stage: I have mostly been an introvert, but being with friends changed me and I was in a different world altogether. It’s time to land my ship back to earth and realize the fact that life is a big stage and everybody is an actor in his own rights. Even a comedian who takes more time on stage, loses his humour quotient
- Be open for lessons: As a student in my profession, I submit that I still am a student of life and largely things have been easy. It’s but humble to accept the lessons that come from people who have seen life, much deeper than me and have traveled through the maze, facing hardships of life
So all those friends who are reading this, please allow Anil Version 2.0 to launch itself and know the fact that I AM COMING TO TERMS WITH LIFE.